Friday, 7 April 2017

Mad is bad

I woke up this morning with a certain amount of new  clarity toward the relationship that madness has to badness.  Perhaps not a relationship but  a definition,  This is a highly controversial statement to make especially for myself.  Maybe not so controversial for most people - I'm not sure.
     I suspect this is the reason that I can't/won't do my process. My inability to accept this as the definition as myself.  That definition that would see me  into jail. I would hate to go to jail, I would find it unbearable I think.  I have heard that there are many many schizophrenics (like myself) in jail.
     I have been told that I'm 'bent' when I got high on weed in the long past. Because I felt so good I assumed 'bent' was something good. Something that made me exceptionally spiritual - not at all the reality of 'badness' as in the principle of  'things are in reverse'. This reminds me of a dream i had during that time.  In the dream I had a bicycle which had a bent frame - no amount of 'trying' would get me anywhere.

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